So, everybody is happy today and the markets are up because the Government has a plan to save everything! This is excellent news! Do you understand the plan though? Because, really, it's totally awesome.
We are going to create an government organization to buy up all the bad debt (they keep calling it "Toxic" for some reason, I don't know how that is supposed to reassure us). This is basically the same plan that was used to totally solve the S&L crisis, and which totally prevented the Great Depression! All without any cost to the taxpayer, so you already know it's a good plan*.
Once the American tax payer has bought the $800 BILLION in bad debt from all the poor banks that made terrible loans, we are planning to hold on to it for, and I quote, "four to six months". After this time everything will have calmed down and no one in the banking industry will be afraid of these TOXIC loans and then, according to this plan, all the private banks that sold off the bad debt will happily by it back from the government for AT LEAST as much as they sold it for. Heck, we might even make a profit! Just like we did the last two times we did this**. I am sure that there is no chance that the private banks, once free of their toxic debts will decide not to buy back the known toxic debt held by the government and, instead, come up with ways to generate new toxic debt. It is inconceivable that the Amerian taxpayer might end up stuck with over a trillion dollars of of bad debt and insurance obligations in addition to the trillion in bailouts we have already paid out this year. Inconceivable does mean what I think it does, right?
Funny, huh...four to six months is just about the right amount of time for the people that came up with this TOTALLY AWESOME plan to get the hell out of dodge and dump this disaster on whoever is President next. Maybe this really is a totally awesome plan.
* Statement regarding cost to American Taxpayers may be a total lie.
** Statement regarding profit to American Taxpayers may be a total lie.