May 2006 Archives

Sexy, Sexy Sociopaths

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Why is it that the worst people are always the most attractive?

The first season of "Boston Legal" is out on DVD now, and I have, of course, Netflixed it. The first season is very different than the second, which I have been watching since my therapist recommended it. In the second season the characters all have some hidden level of depth, and frankly, nobility that is completely missing in the first season so far. There are no likable characters - no one that you can identify with, however briefly. They are all completely self-serving monsters, who will do whatever is required to win their case, even when they know the client is guilty.

I think that the show has lost something in the last year. Something that I didn't even know it had till now. Watching the early episodes I find that the characters were far more interesting when they lacked a moral compass. I assume this says something terrible about me; that and the fact that I want to grow up to be Alan Shore.

Selfish Help

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Another potential project I am thinking of arises from my loathing of all self help gurus.Honestl;y - Dr. Phil is some fat dumbass who can''t stop eating twinkies. Do you really think it's a good idea to take his advice? Plus, the man can't get through an interview without a trail of saliva running down his chin as he asks whether or not the guest spanks his/her children (really, watch the inerview about the Bush Girls). That's creepier than the time Martha made beautiful napkin holders out of her children,

Given that I don't like these people (John Gray, you know who you are), I'm guessing that you think I would not follow in their footsteps.

You are, of course, WRONG. These people make a lot of money, and they have no idea what they are talking about - that is pretty appealing to me, given my abilities and my needs.

Because of this, I am thinking about starting a column called something like "A Misanthrope's guide to the (un)Easy Life. The content will focus on things I have learned in my life and how YOU can apply then too your own life. It's important to me that I don't pretend to apply them to my own life, because no one can do that. We can learn things, and we can explain these things; we cannot apply them to our own situations. Junkies have learned more lessons than all of the rest of us combined - they just can't apply these lessons to whatever remains of their own lives.

I, on the othe hand, will provide you with no-holds-barred advice on how my mistakes and stupidity can help you.

Let's say I wiill do it if I get...two positive comments. Come on...two positive comments.


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So, I have finally gotten around to putting a bunch of pictures up onto Flicker. The irritating, but space effiicent mosaic thingee to the right will take you there, where you can view my hawesome pictures.

Okay, so most the pictures are not that great, but the comments on them are pretty amusing; plus, there is the exciting "Tipsy Teen" series!

Unless I end up in the news for a killing spree or something, this will probably be the last update in this category. It's been a little over two weeks now that I've been off the Zoloft, but it's hard to say exactly what the impact has been.

The first week was no problem at all - felt like my usual happy, go lucky self - skipping through fields, tra-la-la, business as usual. Well, okay, that isn't strictly speaking true, but really it was not so bad - I felt "normal".

The second week has been more of a challenge, but then again, I'm not sure how much of it can be attributed directly to getting off the Zoloft. There have been a couple of other things going on that are probably complicating my experiment. I've totally-absolutely-no-sneaking-any-when-I-am-not-looking-it's-not-okay-if-I-just-have-one-every-other-day stopped smoking. This of course has me in a state of near constant longing, which, given my wiring, is pretty easy to misinterpret and get cross-wired with other longings. This of course makes it easy to get depressed, even though there is nothing to get depressed about, and in reality I just want a cigarette. There is something of a spiral here, as not getting pleasure through smoking increases my dependance on other sources of life affirming enjoyment, and I am worried that I might be straining those other sources too much and annoying them.

Plus, not smoking at all makes me cranky in general - not in the "adorable and endearing crank" way that you all know and love - more the colicky baby type (inconsolable screaming, clenched fists, increased bowel activity and gas).

Why is it that I always try to do too many things at once, thereby endangering my ability succeed in any of them? It's not enough to be finalizing my divorce (an day now!) - I also have to simultaneously quit smoking, drop the anti-depressants, have my stepson move across the country and make sure that I don't screw up a very valuable friendship (and dopamine source), all the while not allowing myself the luxury of drinking myself into oblivion like any sensible person would do (though if I did that, I would probably smoke, so, no real solution there ).

The only solutions that I can see are writing and videogame playing, both of which seem to have a calming effect on my brain - there have been studies that show that video games are better at stimulating your hypothalamus than chocolate and sex (I assume at the same time); I need neither - I have Final Fantasy 1.

I've also been taking a lot more pictures lately - the flickr stream will be updated as soon as I can unclench my fists long enough to tag and upload.

The Marathon Man

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So I visited the sadists today to have my teeth checked.

Apparently, I still have most of them.

I did make the mistake of bringing my anti-Intelligent Design book with me to read and had to spend a good part of the cleaning carefully avoiding questions from my dental hygienist which, if answered truthfully, would no doubt have resulted in extreme pain for me. When the line of questions begins with "As a Christian, I don't believe that a species can evolve into another species", you know you are in trouble.Thankfully, I did not respond, "So, I am guessing that you also don't believe that two hydrogen atoms, combined with a single oxygen atom create water, since that book says he divided the water from the land, not Hydrogen and Oxygen, in a 2/1 ratio, from numerous other atoms, while leaving many of those same trace atoms suspended in the H2O, and said it was good?" We won't even go into the fact that he didn't create the sun, the stars and the planets until two days after creating light . I assume you already know about the two conflicting creation stories in Genesis...One with women equal to men, and the other as his "helpmeet". Guess which one get's ignored these days, even though they are right there in the first two chapters - and the man on top one was pretty obviously added about 400 years later.

I'm not even going to go into Lot sleeping with his daughters...

So Much Stuff

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Soooo much political stuff going on that I am not even going to try to address it in detail. Suffice to say NSA call info collection, definately illegal, Dick Chaney notes on the Joe Wilson column, smoking gun. Nothing of course will be done about any of these, since we have spent the last 5.5 years sliding into the darkest period of America's history

Next week, on the other hand, will be my last weekend with Kieran before he goes, which sucks. I am going to miss him so much. It's funny, but the changes that came about as a result of the divorce gave me a chance to become closer to both him and Ashley, and I am really glad that I took advantage of it. I just wish it wasn't going to end so quickly. I think I will have to see if it's okay with his dad if I come out for a few days during the summer to visit and show him all the really, really dorky places in Seattle, With all the tech companies out there they have awesome game and comic shops. Maybe I will check with Larry from Xigo and see if he knows anybody that could arrange a tour of Wizards of the Coast - that would kick ass.

I also just got a chapbook from Wil Wheaton (Blogger and TV's Ensign Wesly Crusher) that contains a few stories about his stepkids who are about Kieran's age - I hope that giving it to him will give him some perspective on how I feel about him, and what I want for him

So now, in closing, I am going to go to bed and read a book of essays about why intelligent design is stupid, which I already know. It just makes be feel better to know that other people agree.

Just the Facts - No Comment Required

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U.S. Army recruiters in Portland have signed up an autistic 18-year-old who didn't know there was a war in Iraq until his parents told him about it.

Update: Okay, I can't resist just one comment - The standard for passing the Army entrance exam is getting 30% of the answers right?!?! They seem to have the normal grading scale turned around...normally the 70/30 split on grades is flipped the other way around - miss more than 30% and you fail.

With entrance standards like that, it makes me worried for the many capable people who are in the military - with their lives at stake they have to depend on people who couldn't even get 1 out of three answers right?

Here's a copy of some sample questions that the Army has up, just to give you an idea of what kind of difficulty we are taking about - you could not get out of middle school without getting 70% of these right.

Devo 2.0 2.0

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After a second (and almost certainly last) listen through the CD it seems that "Uncontrollable Urge" is now about junk food, and "Jerkin' Back and Forth" is about dancing. So, Devo - Devo - has in fact been completely co-opted by The Man.

Pinks, form a line on the right to buy copies for your kids. Superior mutants, form a line to the left for processing into the Re-Neducation camps.

I am too afraid to consider watching the DVD that comes with the CD.

My kids will be getting actual Devo CD's, which The Man will have to pull from their cold, six-web-fingered hands.

Beautiful Mutants?

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So, a couple of months ago I was very excited to hear that Mark Mothersbaugh was working on a project called DEVO 2.0 for Disney (Buena Vista Music, whatever). The BRILLIANT idea was to have a manufactured band of tweens who did Devo covers and then sell it to kids. Basically, co-opt co-opting.

I got the album today, and I have to say that I am very disappointed. The whole thing comes off as a school project that the kids turn in, but you can tell the work was really done by their parents. The music is actually better than Devo's, due to the march of technology and more money for production, but I would be amazed if it's the kids actually playing it. The vocals range from slightly better than Devo (The Boy/Girl You Want) to terrible (everything else).

Most of the lyrics have not been changed, and this is certainly more subversive than most things in the children's music section. However, anything they might have tried to say is betrayed by the cover of "Beautiful World". When the little girl is singing "It's a beautiful world - for you" and follows it up with "and I guess for me too", my soul shrunk, the possibilites of the world shrunk, and I threw up a little in my mouth. The whole point of the song is that it's NOT a beautiful world, remember Mark?

Selling poppy subversive songs to kids is on thing (that I approve of). Selling them out is another thing entirely.

Interesting that the sexuality related stuff (girl/boy you want, uncontrollable urge, and Jerkin' back and forth) is there pretty much intact, but the anti-conformist/anti-consumerism message? G-O-N-E.

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This page is an archive of entries from May 2006 listed from newest to oldest.

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