Who I Think I am Today

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As promised I have been thinking about what are the things baout me that are important to me, so I can see if anything happens to them once I start trying medication. Turns out it's very hard to try to evaluate who you are while youare still inside you looking out. I've come up with a couple of things that I think are important to me, but if anyone else (only people that actually know me...) has any ideas, please feel free to comment.

1. My sense of humour. It's really, really important to me. It's sarcastic, usually mean only when directed at myself (I could be wrong though). I can often see things in a slightly off-kilter way and express it verbally in an amusing fashion. Generally it's more mild smile inducing than laugh out loud, but people tend to remember me as funny. I want to keep that part of me for sure.

2. This is the one that really is bugging me. I tend to attach to people strongly when I attach, but attach pretty rarely. I like to think that I am loyal and once attached, don't give up on people, usually until way p[ast when I should have. No, this has nothing to do with the current situation (okay, a little), but if you know anything about my past, you know what I am talking about. I don't want this to change, even though I know it's probably a bad thing, but it is one of the things that makes me "me". So we will see what happens with this one.

3. I'm nice. Second to funny, I am frequently remembered as nice - they guy who is always personable, friendly and willing to help out with something. I'm not really worried about this one, I mean, anti-depressants don't make you mean, right?

3. I'm smart. I've always been able to solve problems, figure out technologies, etc; The whole "faking your way though life" thing. I've been hideously underqualified for almost every job I have ever had, yet I have managed to figure out what needed to be done, how to do it, and usually excel. That I really can't afford to lose, since, well, it is my only marketable talent, even if those making use of it don't know that.

An important thing to remember about this list (which I may add to) is that I am only listing things I like about myself, not any of the bad things about me (and there are many) which I am hoping will be affected by this experience. For example, I am frequently anxious about all sorts of things (money, relationships, all sorts of things) to a dgree that can make it difficult for talent #3 to kick in. I would like to fix that. I also tend to make quick decisions that I later regret - It would be cool if the reduction of anxiety increased my abilty to think things through before acting/talking. Would have saved me a lot of problems recently probably.

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This page contains a single entry by edgore published on October 22, 2005 9:52 PM.

Meat Robot Theater was the previous entry in this blog.

Day One Begins is the next entry in this blog.

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